


The Hiccups

by impalaloompa



Series: Witcher Tumblr prompts and shorts [11]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, I just enjoy these two so much, M/M, geralt gets hiccups and doesn't know what to do, jaskier tries to help, soft, they kiss in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:42:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25630762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impalaloompa/pseuds/impalaloompa
Summary: “Have you tried holding your breath? Drinking water really fast? Pulling hard on your tongue?” Jaskier leaned back on his bed, tucking his arms behind his head and resting on the pillow.“Yes. *hic* No. *hic* And does that even work?” Geralt grumbled, abandoning getting ready to turn in for the night in favour of rummaging through his pack for his water skin.Jaskier shrugged.“I don’t know. I think I heard it from an old washerwoman once. Never disregard the wisdom of the elderly Geralt. I’ve learned from experience that they often know what they’re talking about,” he rambled, eyes on the warped wooden ceiling above him as Geralt glugged mouthful after mouthful of water from his water skin.Jaskier paused, watching the Witcher. Silence, then -“*hic* FUCK!” Geralt threw the water skin and thumbed his temples.
Series: Witcher Tumblr prompts and shorts [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857856
Comments: 6
Kudos: 87





	The Hiccups

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1  
> Prompt - Three beers in And Geralt has the hiccups and it's really ruining his whole stoic vibe. Jaskier can't stop laughing.
> 
> Part 2  
> Prompt - So congratulations on writing the cutest witcher fic I've ever read! geralt with hiccups is such a precious idea... please consider writing a part 2 because I would honestly die of happiness if you did

Part 1

The tavern was busy, loud. The thick scent of alcohol, sweat and woodsmoke in the air.

The Witcher, Geralt of Rivia, was crammed at at table in the far corner, nursing a tankard and watching the patrons with his keen eyes.

No one was paying him any attention, which he preferred. All the focus was on the young Bard prancing in front of the hearth. Entertaining with a cheeky grin, charming and animated as he played his lute and told the epic tales of The White Wolf.

Currently some song about a vampire that the Bard had embellished with his fanciful concoctions. It had been a rather boring fight really. Vampire bothering a town, Geralt found it, knocked it down with Aard then cut its head off. That was it. The way Jaskier told it however, made it sound like some life or death battle.

Jaskier finished with a flourish, beaming at the rambunctious applause.

“Thank you,” he swept down in a low bow, “And to finish off this wonderful evening my last song, which was my first.”

Blue eyes sought out amber and when their gazes connected, Jaskier winked.

“This one’s for you, you sexy beast,” the Bard grinned at the Witcher.

Geralt choked on his beer.

The few patrons who did turn to look at him were quickly distracted again as Jaskier launched into Toss A Coin.

To force away the rising embarrassment, Geralt drained the last of his beer in two gulps then caught the attention of the barmaid who filled his tankard for him from a stoneware flagon, and he drained that one too.

He was halfway through his third tankard when Jaskier plopped into the chair opposite him, looking slightly flushed and disheveled but inordinately happy.

“Well,” he hummed, propping his lute against his chair and leaning back nonchalantly, “I think that went rather well. The coin is flowing as is the beer too I see.”

Geralt scowled at him over the top of his tankard.

“I am exhausted Geralt. These villagers were hard to keep up with. I don’t think they get many musicians passing through these parts. They can’t sing for shit but what they lack in vocal talent they make up for in enthusiasm,” Jaskier stretched his aching fingers and ran a hand through his hair.

“Rather like yourself then,” Geralt grumbled.

The Bard frowned at him.

“I’m ignoring that. You’ve had a long, and very trying day so I’ll let it go.”

“Hm,” Geralt grunted, drinking the rest of his beer quickly and receiving his fourth top up.

“You know, Geralt,” Jaskier leaned forward on the table, fingers fidgeting, “with this town’s drowner problem as well as the fact that they seem more than happy to part with their coin for a good performance, we could be here for a while so-”

“No,” Geralt grumped.

“But why?” Jaskier whined, arms flailing in indignation.

“Because a room at the Inn is expensive and we need to save up the coin we’ve got,” the Witcher took another drink.

“But think of the comfort Geralt! Soft bedding. Feather pillows -”

“There’s nothing wrong with staying in the Tavern.”

“Unless you count lumpy straw mattresses and scratchy sheets,” Jaskier huffed.

“I said *hic* no, Jaskier.”

“I’m sorry. Come again?” the Bard quirked an eyebrow at him.

“*hic* No,” Geralt was serious, still, jaw set, but the hiccups jolting his body completely ruined the scary Witcher aesthetic.

The laugh started as a tremble on his lips, then quickly bubbled up until he couldn’t control it.

“Why are you *hic* laughing?” Geralt glowered at him.

“Oh Gods,” Jaskier wiped at his eyes, “Geralt I’ve never seen you hiccup before.”

The Witcher shrugged.

“Must have drunk my beer too quick. So what? Everyone gets hiccups.”

“Yeah but, but it’s you,” Jaskier snorted, trying very hard to control himself, “You and your stoicness and- and-”

Geralt hiccuped again and Jaskier forced a fist into his mouth to stifle the noise of another bout of laughter.

“If you’re going to *hic* behave like a child *hic* I’m going up to bed,” the Witcher made to stand up but Jaskier caught his sleeve, pulling him back down again.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he sucked in sharp breaths to calm himself, “It’s just…it’s just I forget sometimes.”

“Forget what?” Geralt frowned at him, another hiccup jerking through him.

Jaskier fixed him with a brilliant blue, genuine and sincere look. His smile wide.

“How human you actually are.”

Part 2

They had retired to their shared room, Jaskier with his coin purse jingling merrily and Geralt still hiccuping as he climbed the rickety wooden stairs.

The Bard flumped down on the bed nearest the window and kicked off his boots.

“Well, I rather think today has been a complete success,” he hummed, rubbing his eyes sleepily and stifling a yawn.

Geralt’s usual “Hm,” was interrupted by a hiccup and the Witcher frowned at himself as he shirked off his leather studded jerkin.

Jaskier tried his very best to look away when Geralt started to unlace his breaches but another hiccup jerked through him and Jaskier’s attention was brought back to him as he slammed his foot on the floor like a child having a tantrum.

“Fuck,” he growled, “why won’t they *hic* stop?”

“Have you tried holding your breath? Drinking water really fast? Pulling hard on your tongue?” Jaskier leaned back on his bed, tucking his arms behind his head and resting on the pillow.

“Yes. *hic* No. *hic* And does that even work?” Geralt grumbled, abandoning getting ready to turn in for the night in favour of rummaging through his pack for his water skin.

Jaskier shrugged.

“I don’t know. I think I heard it from an old washerwoman once. Never disregard the wisdom of the elderly Geralt. I’ve learned from experience that they often know what they’re talking about,” he rambled, eyes on the warped wooden ceiling above him as Geralt glugged mouthful after mouthful of water from his water skin.

Jaskier paused, watching the Witcher. Silence, then -

“*hic* FUCK!” Geralt threw the water skin and thumbed his temples.

Jaskier bit his lower lip. There was another way he knew would cure hiccups, and Geralt wasn’t looking at him. He had his back turned.

As quietly as he could, he slipped off the bed. Geralt was mumbling to himself and he hoped it would be enough to cover the sound of his footsteps, the sound of the spike in his heartbeat.

He was so close when Geralt suddenly spun round, catching his wrists.

“What do you *hic* think you are doing?” Geralt growled.

“I was trying to give you a fright. Everyone knows that a good shock is the best way to cure hiccups,” Jaskier tried to twist out of Geralt’s hold but the Witcher held him fast.

“I’m a Witcher,” Geralt sneered at him, “its going to *hic* take a lot more than trying to *hic* sneak up on me.”

Jaskier stared into those amber eyes with a slight defiance to his expression. He really was very close to the Witcher. He could see the lines in his skin formed around the scowl and the mixtures of yellow and amber around his dark pupils. He could see the quiver of frustration in his lower lip and the tightness of the muscles in his jaw.

Good Gods he was beautiful and Jaskier was very very helpless against it. A thought formed in his mind and as Geralt jolted with another hiccup he decided to follow through.

Okay, he thought, big shock.

Jaskier surged forwards to capture Geralt’s mouth with his own. The Witcher froze, letting go of Jaskier’s wrists and the Bard lifted his hands to cup Geralt’s face as he planted chaste kiss after chaste kiss onto his lips. He forced himself not to moan when he felt Geralt melting into him.

The Witcher suddenly pulled back, eyes blown wide.

“Jaskier,” he sounded slightly hoarse, “what… what the fuck was that?”

Jaskier tried to ignore the quivering of his gut as he blinked slowly at Geralt.

“You’re welcome,” he hummed softly.

“For-for what?” the Witcher was struggling to process what had just happened.

“For curing your hiccups,” Jaskier smirked, hiding behind the bravado he usually put up when he wanted to protect himself from being hurt.

Geralt paused. Silence.

His hiccups were gone and he sighed in relief.

Jaskier tried to prepare his defence for the kiss. He could already feel his heartbreaking as he readied himself to lie about his feelings for Geralt yet again.

But then Geralt surprised him.

“You kissed me,” the Witcher was searching him with those amber eyes.

“It was to give you a shock and it worked,” Jaskier quirked him a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, trying not to shrivel away under that gaze.

There was a split second where Geralt seemed about to drop it, move on, but then he was crowding Jaskier against the wall and kissing him hard and it was all Jaskier could do to not crumple there and then.

“Thank you Jaskier,” Geralt mumbled against his lips.

And Jaskier knew that behind those two words there was so much more.


End file.
